This post is in honor of Debbie. You probably don't know my Debbie but I'll never forget here. Debbie was one of the first nurses I met in my chemoventure. She was also the love of my life for those five days I stayed on her floor. I'll never forget the day we met...
After a minor biopsy, that I'll share about at a different time, which allowed pathologists to diagnose the Hodgkins disease, the doctors spent six weeks running me through various diagnostic tests. Each one was meant to give them an idea of how far the cancer had progressed and each one has a funny story attached so I won't spend much time here today. The basic idea was that the more tests that came out clear the better. My romance with Debbie began after the final test, a staging laparotomy which turned into a splenectomy. This test landed me in the hospital for five days of young love. At least this is how I remember it.
The moment Nurse Debbie walked into my room I knew I had discovered the purpose for my diagnosis. Fate had brought us together. Sure I was sixteen and she was probably in her early thirties but like I told so many people that week, age was not a problem for the two of us. The other slight complication was the fact that Debbie was married but I was quick to encourage her and others in the room that day, including my very conservative grandparents, that her marriage was simply an obstacle that we would have to overcome.
What in the world am I talking about? You see that's the problem, I didn't know what I was saying either. Every time I opened my mouth whatever happened to be on my mind at that very moment came out. Whether it was hitting on a nurse, confessing to inappropriate behavior with my ex-girlfriends, or inquiring as to why the cast of Ringling Bros. Barnun & Bailey's Circus was in my room. I was blessed with the power of Demerol.
Demerol is a type of morphine and it's used to treat severe pain. The drug, however, does nothing to help with foot in mouth syndrome. In fact, it promotes that problem. I said a lot of things (so I've been told) that no one understood or cared to know about. And here's the key to today's lesson cheer: I enjoyed every minute of it.
Before I say anything more let stop to inform you that I have been a pastor for the last thirteen years of my life. I am in no way an advocate for drug use or abuse. I have never used illegal drugs nor do I condone it.
All that being said, if you're gonna go through this poking and prodding of every part of your body you might as well get something in return. There will be plenty of things that cause you discomfort and pain over this period of time so enjoy the happy stuff that makes the pain go away. When I think back to that five days in the hospital I don't think about the fact that I hurt so bad it took me thirty minutes to walk down the hallway or the ten foot tube they stuck down my nose into my stomach. I don't cringe at the thought of the catheter they inserted into you know where so I won't say it. I think of Debbie and the times we had together. The truth is I don't remember anything about how she looked but because of what my anesthesiologist called the hospital happy hour cocktails, I remember that we (or at least I) were in love and that's all that matters to me.
So Cheer Up You've Got Cancer now give that nurse your vein and enjoy the ride.
Showing posts with label About You. Show all posts
Showing posts with label About You. Show all posts
#4 - Who Needs Liposuction? I Got Adriamycin!
Let's start from the beginning. I'll never forget 3rd grade during recess while playing tether ball. I was in the middle of a smoking game and probably winning when suddenly no one seemed to be keeping score. Kids on every side of the circle were laughing and pointing. Where were they pointing? Everyone of their dirty little fingers was pointed straight at me. Why were they pointing? It wasn't because of my tether ball skills. While I was focused on winning my game, the zipper on my shorts was fighting a losing battle against the power of gravity.
The "open barn door" is a common occurrence on any playground so you wouldn't think this would be a life shattering moment for me. It probably wouldn't have been except that it was chronic issue in my young life. In order to understand where we're headed today you must first understand that I was kind of a chubby kid. Okay I'm kind of a chubby adult too and I'm good with that...now. My zipper was positionally challenged because my shorts were too small. My shorts were too small because my stomach was too big. My mom had been teaching me hold in my stomach but I hadn't quite mastered this intro to belly hiding technique.
So what does any of this have to do with cheering up? Weight is on everyone's mind all the time. We see what we're supposed to look like on TV, in magazines, and on the dummies that display the outfitses we want buy in the stores we shop at (The same outfits are on the manikin's too). If it's true that the average person is overweight in our country today than it means that the average cancer fighter is or was overweight as well. So here's today's good news for you hard core chemo-heads out there.
Sure you'll have nausea at times and even the smell of food may send you running head first to the porcelain throne. Of course there are going to be times that just getting out of bed will make your stomach feel like you just got off a roller coaster but there is a bright side. You, like I, will not have to worry about the curse of the fallen zipper. You don't need to stress over "sucking it in" to get those jeans on. Truth is you're biggest problem will be tightening down that belt another notch cuz those jeans you bought a year ago promising yourself that you would fit into that size again some day are now just a little too big.
Some of you may be thinking to yourself, how can he talk like this. Let me remind you that when life hands you lemons you make lemonade. Since lemonade will make most caner fighters throw up I say when life injects you with chemo that makes you really sick go shopping and find an outfit you always thought wouldn't fit your body type!
The point is this. Find the bright side in every dark thing you're going through and Cheer Up you may getting nauseous lot more lately but you won't have to spend $22 a week plus food to Jenny Craig to shed those extra LBS!
The "open barn door" is a common occurrence on any playground so you wouldn't think this would be a life shattering moment for me. It probably wouldn't have been except that it was chronic issue in my young life. In order to understand where we're headed today you must first understand that I was kind of a chubby kid. Okay I'm kind of a chubby adult too and I'm good with that...now. My zipper was positionally challenged because my shorts were too small. My shorts were too small because my stomach was too big. My mom had been teaching me hold in my stomach but I hadn't quite mastered this intro to belly hiding technique.
So what does any of this have to do with cheering up? Weight is on everyone's mind all the time. We see what we're supposed to look like on TV, in magazines, and on the dummies that display the outfitses we want buy in the stores we shop at (The same outfits are on the manikin's too). If it's true that the average person is overweight in our country today than it means that the average cancer fighter is or was overweight as well. So here's today's good news for you hard core chemo-heads out there.
Sure you'll have nausea at times and even the smell of food may send you running head first to the porcelain throne. Of course there are going to be times that just getting out of bed will make your stomach feel like you just got off a roller coaster but there is a bright side. You, like I, will not have to worry about the curse of the fallen zipper. You don't need to stress over "sucking it in" to get those jeans on. Truth is you're biggest problem will be tightening down that belt another notch cuz those jeans you bought a year ago promising yourself that you would fit into that size again some day are now just a little too big.
Some of you may be thinking to yourself, how can he talk like this. Let me remind you that when life hands you lemons you make lemonade. Since lemonade will make most caner fighters throw up I say when life injects you with chemo that makes you really sick go shopping and find an outfit you always thought wouldn't fit your body type!
The point is this. Find the bright side in every dark thing you're going through and Cheer Up you may getting nauseous lot more lately but you won't have to spend $22 a week plus food to Jenny Craig to shed those extra LBS!
#2 - Get into your PJ's
I mentioned in my last post that I was diagnosed with the big "C" after my mom took me to the doctor because I had been so tired. Let me give you a small example of what I mean. I had come home from football practice one day and decided I need a nap. I asked my mom to get me up in time for dinner if I happened to still be asleep. This all took place at noon. Sure enough dinner time arrived and not even the smell of food could wake me from my slumber. My mom decided to let me sleep and I didn't come back from dreamland until 6:30pm. I ate a little something and went back to bed and didn't rise until 9:00am the next morning. I even missed that morning's football practice.
Now for many of us being tired is a part of life. We all work harder than we should, play later than we should, and sleep less than we should. So why should we cheer up when more exhaustion is added by this disease that our body spends 24 hours a day fighting against? Shouldn't this cause even more frustration and discouragement?
The answer is a resounding NO! Think about it. Up to this point it didn't matter how tired you were you couldn't stop to rest. Life didn't allow it. And don't forget that when you beat this crap (and you will beat this crap) and come out on the other side, life will have no problem keeping you up and running for more hours than there are in a day. Rest is not an option for the "healthy." And lack of rest is not an option for the cancer survivor.
This is your chance! This is your opportunity. Don't waste it trying to keep up. Today you have been given permission to do your part in fighting back. Let someone else do the dishes. Give someone else the chance to over achieve at work. This is your moment to rest! If your eyes are heavy then let them fall. Trust me the people around you aren't going to say a word. Who would ever question the person with cancer? So get ready....Get set...And go! Jump into your pj's!
The answer is a resounding NO! Think about it. Up to this point it didn't matter how tired you were you couldn't stop to rest. Life didn't allow it. And don't forget that when you beat this crap (and you will beat this crap) and come out on the other side, life will have no problem keeping you up and running for more hours than there are in a day. Rest is not an option for the "healthy." And lack of rest is not an option for the cancer survivor.
This is your chance! This is your opportunity. Don't waste it trying to keep up. Today you have been given permission to do your part in fighting back. Let someone else do the dishes. Give someone else the chance to over achieve at work. This is your moment to rest! If your eyes are heavy then let them fall. Trust me the people around you aren't going to say a word. Who would ever question the person with cancer? So get ready....Get set...And go! Jump into your pj's!
#1 - Everybody likes a little extra attention
I'll never forget the day I walked into what would become the first of thousands of doctor's appointments. I was sixteen and still seeing a pediatrician. We had decided to go because I had been so tired (#2 reason to cheer up coming soon). My mom took me in and we sat in the waiting room with three nursing mothers, a couple of crying babies, and toddlers fighting over who was gonna play with the wire kids toy loaded with rings (I won that fight by the way).
My mom and I were laughing at the fact that I was the oldest patient in the room. I was hoping for a sticker if I was good and she insisted that if I got scared I could sit on her lap. At that point we had no idea there was really anything to fear.
When we were finally called back to the exam room we realized something was up. A nurse came in to do the precursory screening that they always do. It so routine that she didn't even look at me when she first came in. She kept her eyes to her clip board as she rattled off question after question. Finally as she got ready to take my blood pressure she lifted her head and looked at me.
The nurse's mouth dropped open as if I had taken over the exam and asked her to say awe. Her hand raised like a women in a trance and with her index finger pointed at me she said, "You're here for your neck aren't you."
I hadn't mentioned this before. My neck was huge. I mean it was thick. 16 inches in diameter to be exact. The reason I didn't mention it is because I proud. Proud of the fact that I had been working out for football season that year and had been developing every muscle in my body. I figured the reason it was so large was because of my intense dedication and loyalty to my craft. Okay that's a little extreme. I worked out 1 hour three days a week but I was a teenager so you get the picture.
Without giving us a chance to answer, the nurse was out of the room to get a doctor. Within a minute she had him back in the room. After a little bit of poking he admitted he had never seen anything like this (I was so proud at what my workouts had accomplished). He called for another doctor who was also shocked. They called for the last doctor and within five minutes I had three doctors and a nurse talking about, looking at, and poking me and my neck.
Two things happened that day. First I was sent off to the main hospital for lots of tests. Boring. Secondly and most important, I realized the first reason to Cheer Up, you've got cancer.
Everybody wants a little attention and if you've got cancer you know this to be the case. You're gonna get it from everywhere. Don't shun it. Embrace it. Let the eyes fall upon you with amazement as you walk into the grocery store tubes sticking out from your shunt. Let them notice your shiny bald head as the sun blinds them while you walk down the beach. Mostly enjoy the fact that your doctor will finally stop looking at their clipboard and start listening to you and your questions. People everywhere want to be noticed and believe me, you will be.
My mom and I were laughing at the fact that I was the oldest patient in the room. I was hoping for a sticker if I was good and she insisted that if I got scared I could sit on her lap. At that point we had no idea there was really anything to fear.
When we were finally called back to the exam room we realized something was up. A nurse came in to do the precursory screening that they always do. It so routine that she didn't even look at me when she first came in. She kept her eyes to her clip board as she rattled off question after question. Finally as she got ready to take my blood pressure she lifted her head and looked at me.
The nurse's mouth dropped open as if I had taken over the exam and asked her to say awe. Her hand raised like a women in a trance and with her index finger pointed at me she said, "You're here for your neck aren't you."
I hadn't mentioned this before. My neck was huge. I mean it was thick. 16 inches in diameter to be exact. The reason I didn't mention it is because I proud. Proud of the fact that I had been working out for football season that year and had been developing every muscle in my body. I figured the reason it was so large was because of my intense dedication and loyalty to my craft. Okay that's a little extreme. I worked out 1 hour three days a week but I was a teenager so you get the picture.
Without giving us a chance to answer, the nurse was out of the room to get a doctor. Within a minute she had him back in the room. After a little bit of poking he admitted he had never seen anything like this (I was so proud at what my workouts had accomplished). He called for another doctor who was also shocked. They called for the last doctor and within five minutes I had three doctors and a nurse talking about, looking at, and poking me and my neck.Two things happened that day. First I was sent off to the main hospital for lots of tests. Boring. Secondly and most important, I realized the first reason to Cheer Up, you've got cancer.
Everybody wants a little attention and if you've got cancer you know this to be the case. You're gonna get it from everywhere. Don't shun it. Embrace it. Let the eyes fall upon you with amazement as you walk into the grocery store tubes sticking out from your shunt. Let them notice your shiny bald head as the sun blinds them while you walk down the beach. Mostly enjoy the fact that your doctor will finally stop looking at their clipboard and start listening to you and your questions. People everywhere want to be noticed and believe me, you will be.